Poor Paris Panics as Pissed-off Prosecutor Persuades Judge to Push for Prison

A shock move by an L.A. judge yesterday looks set to extricate celebutard Paris Hilton’s head from her own arse. Paris was sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating her parole conditions for an earlier charge: Public moronity with intent to not-give-a-fuck.

Upon deliverance of the judge’s verdict, all was quiet in the courtroom while Paris’s legal representation explained the verdict to Miss Hilton using crayons and a large sheet of butcher’s paper. She was apparently shocked, and asked for clarification in blue crayon. At this stage, insiders attest, Paris was heard to say, ‘But, I’m famous!’ and called for members of her entourage to bring her a fresh chihuahua to dry her eyes.

The judge was heard to respond: ‘Whatever…’.

While in prison, Paris will spend her time making folk art out of paddle-pop sticks, hessian sacks, and her own hair.