Irreverent rants, hungover musings, too much salt...

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Deadly Rubber Snake

I found a rubber cobra on the street on Tuesday. I was walking to work in a dazed and hungover state, lost in a world of my own when I saw it on the ground about a metre in front of me. It scared the shit out of me, I leapt backwards into the path of oncoming traffic before I realised that it was not real.

I picked it up and put it in my pocket. It kept me amused all day, I showed my snake to everyone I saw.

I took the snake home.

I put the snake on top of the fridge in a lifelike pose. I went into the bathroom for a few minutes then came out and headed for the fridge in order to extract beer.

I saw the snake with its beady little eyes when I was about a foot away.

Oh fuck! I leapt backwards and deftly fell over my own feet.

I laughed a while, then had a jam, and then went out and got drunker. I came home in a semi-sloshed state. I walked in the door, took my shoes off, stepped into the main room, and caught a glimpse of the deadly rubber snake on top of the fridge.

Ahhh! I nearly did a fucking back flip.

I laughed a while on the floor, then went to bed. I woke up, went to the bathroom, came out rubbing my eyes, and headed over to switch on the kettle. The kettle is on top of the fridge, next to the snake...