Heat

It is so fucking hot here. The air is trying to suffocate me. It squeezes the will to live right out of my skin. You could cut the air with a knife then use it to butter your bread. Heat on toast.

I have to wear long pants to work. My underwear gets so fucking hot you could cook things in it. One of my students spontaneously combusted right in front of me today. I think he was trying to avoid being called upon to read next.

I get home around 9:10. My shoebo… I mean ‘house’ has been percolating all day, absorbing the heat through the walls, then retaining it in my still-trying-to-dry clothes. I open the door and humid beer-scented air goes straight for my throat like a very determined rubber snake. I gag and tear off my shirt as I head to open the window, then peel off my socks, hit the button for the fan, and step into the bathroom where the floor is still wet from the shower I had nine hours earlier. I have another shower then burn the clothes I was wearing before.

I crank the fan to maximum warp and fix it two feet away, pointed directly at the chair in front of the computer. I sit on the chair earring a pair of shorts and drink cold beer in large gulps so as to stop the evil heat from corrupting the chill.