Irreverent rants, hungover musings, too much salt...

Friday, July 06, 2007

Localised time distortions

The alarm went off this morning at seven like it always does. I pressed the snooze button and rolled over.


What? Ten past? What's going on?



Twenty past? What the fuck? How is this possible, I swear I just blinked.

Then I realised.

Of course!


Aliens were stealing my timethey had to be. What else could explain these bizarre time distortions?

I hit the snooze button, lay on my back and peered out from under my eye lids. I relaxed every muscle (well, not every muscle) in anticipation of springing from bed and throttling one of those pesky time-stealing aliens.


Sweet fucking Jesus! Sneaky fuckers, they've done it again! Half past!


I'll get the little bastards tomorrow.