Grrrr of the day

The sun is shining, the weather is sweet (thanks Bob); what could possibly be pissing me off today?

My phone never remembers what I teach it. It's a pretty fancy phone, it had a good education, but its short-term memory is fucked.

It never remembers my fucking name--it always comes out as 'Rosy'. And it never remembers how to spell 'shit', always coming out as 'shiv'.

Spell?

I fuckin' told you last time, phone!

S. H. I. T. That's how you spell it, now remember that shiv...

Oh, for duals sake!

What the duck?

And shiv (spell? S.H.I.T) is a word essential to any text message. (Hey grandma, how's shit with you?)

But besides forgetting the important words, it has a bunch that are burnt into its circuits by the factory that I'm not sure are even English.

'Ulickug' is a perfectly acceptable string of letters for my phone, it just sits back and goes, 'yeah, I know where you're going with this...'.

It's probably Finnish for shiv.